Love❤️, a Feeling or Choice?

So I found this on Tumblr and goodness gracious did it shine some light of perspective unto the issue of love being either a feeling or choice. I can only hope that after reading this, you find much lucidity in this too.

“ - Is love a feeling or a choice?

We were all a bunch of teenagers and so naturally we said it was a feeling. She said if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and made us ask them why it lasted or failed. At the end I asked them if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said it was a choice

It was a conscious commitment

It was something you choose to make every day with someone who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy.  They said feelings are always changing and one cannot build something on such shaky foundation.

The married ones said when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, identifying what broke and how to fix it by recreating something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away

Ever since that class, that project, I never looked at relationships the same way.

I understood why arranged marriages were successful; I discovered the differences in feelings and commitments.

I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated towards finding something to adore even 

on the ugliest days

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they choose to find them again”

Who is your friend? 🤔

 " I want you to take a moment and think of all the things that define your life, all the people you love, your job, your co-workers etc. Now imagine that in a flash, all of these were taken from you; will you just accept your new life and move on or fight for what you've lost?"

-Culled from Barry Allen, The Flash

  Someone once told me, "Your life actually starts when you meet the right people and at the right time. It may be quite hard to tell whom the right people are and when the right time is. At the onset, you find yourself doing things for them which you'd logically not do. But just because they fill a certain void in you, you subconsciously accept them as the right people". Based on personal experiences, I've realized that when one is engulfed with the right people, it induces an inexplicable happiness and not that kind of happiness which results from happenings. One which lasts long enough to keep you afloat till the silver lining in that cloud is discovered.

  In recent times the word or title "friend", whichever way you'd want to call it is thrown about easily. Making us prey to being hurt and extremely vulnerable or one could see it as learning curve where an invaluable lesson is learnt. One which can warp and or change our entire perspective of whom a friend is to us. Nevertheless, we shouldn't allow such lessons to harden our hearts but be receptive towards being informed.

It took me long enough for the dawn of realization to hit me pertaining the identity of whom a friend is or even more a defining moment as to if the person is a friend or someone you just know. Mind you the two are not the same and as such, I ask you today, do you know who your legit friends are?

The answer to this question is imperative to your well being, answer wisely. Enjoy your day!

Reboot 🍃

*long pause*

I've had this coming for a long time and it is about time I got right to it. I just didn't know when it was going to be but then I guess, when you've had once maybe too many epiphanies, one ought to pay attention. Unless you're too broke to do that😂.

So a reboot..  basically, I've always wanted to cause a positive stir with what I do and or write. The daunting factor of what exactly to write about is that which has left me pondering enough to realize that Theodore Roosevelt of blessed memory was absolutely right when he advised and I quote, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" .

I'd ascribe this reinvigorated series of posts to come to Teddy's quote I aforementioned. Thanks Ted!

I sincerely hope you'd find them well inspiring, informed .. *runs out of adjectives* urm you know the rest. Enjoy your day! 👌

The Mind of a Game Changer IV

A great philosopher once said, “The pen is mightier than the sword” An adage which has been known for so many decades and of which has been the weapon for almost all intellects from their arsenal of tools when called upon to mediate issues. A weapon which aides them to emancipate and inform the populace on the essence of having being educated. This I believe was part of the numerous reasons why  people like Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, J. E Kwegyir-Aggrey, J. Mensah-Sarbah (all of blessed memory) just to name a few, advocated for such a course. This then led to the present system of education we have in the country although several adjustments have been made to suit changing times. But then I ask, have these changes really reflected the motive some nationalists back in the era of the Gold Coast dreamt of?
Education is said to have impacted someone when it moves them physically and mentally such that it leads to unexpected discoveries. Sitting on the fence and waiting to be told what to do after having acquired knowledge rather seems absurd due to the fact that the learner is expected to put to use what they have gotten a hold of.  It’s rather unfortunate that what I just stated seems to be the order of the day most often due to the kind of system we have now and its perspective it comes with.
For knowledge to be useful to both country and oneself, it ought to be assembled and obtained by the learner (actively) than received hook line and sinker from the tutor or lecturer. Hence it is given the name, “spoon feeding” way of teaching and learning. The error usually begins from the elementary through to secondary and still continues in the tertiary level because the aspect of education which is characterized by the stimulation and provision for exploration or discovery as well as importantly, action is absent. The system rather teaches us to be well guarded by the so called traditional education’s “correct answers”; not knowing that this weighs heavily against the use of creativity and innovation (the essential ingredient for unexpected discoveries).
True meaning is made out of acquired knowledge when we are able to connect what we learn by our thoughts and curiosities and not through the version of the marker or chalk wielded instructor. Ideally, it is the responsibility of the learner to make multiple meanings from their thinking through deliberate efforts by being a critical thinker and doer as knowledge is being imparted. This then allows the learner to extract multiple viewpoints on themes, texts and concepts. This skill allows clear reasoning which supports one’s interpretation of life itself by considering alternate and diverse views.
Humans are biologically creatures of habit and as such do not easily breakaway from a way of life. A learner who is literally raised to sit and prepare for exams only to discard the information stored will find it difficult to change as against the one puts into practice what they have been taught.  It is quite clear that useful knowledge comes from experience and experience is earned from working. Blatantly the one literally trained to sit for almost 16 years won’t be able to boast of doing “work” hence not having experience as against the other type of learner who’d have acquired some form of experience from the little work they do every now and then. Should these two class of learners graduate, one will always expect things to be in a certain pattern (like waiting on the government in getting them employed etc) whiles the other category of learner will go out there and create that pattern because they have that useful knowledge which they acquired from and experience they got from “working”. One can say, every graduate sure have something to offer to the nation. They just don’t know what. Like
a friend once said to me, “GPA and grades look good on paper; Translating those practically is what guarantees one a job”
What then can those caught up in this rat race of expecting things to be done in a certain pattern do? They can start of by updating their attitudes to leverage their talents with the time on hands since they can’t go back in time to reverse the errors done. It’s what you do now that counts and can amend your concept of life.
Secondly, a man without a goal or objective is like a blind man gallivanting on a land mine. One needn’t be a rocket scientist to know what is going to happen to such a person. This then throws more light on the reason why everyone ought to have a realistic objective(s) in life. Else our fate will be like that of the blind man walking on a land mine.
Thirdly, society since time immemorial has been bombarded with soaring unemployment percentage figures. What has anyone really done about this? Instead graduands rather add up to this menace than solving it. We ought to find a societal issue that is dear to our hearts and make conscious effort to solve them. Maybe not alone but with other people who share the same philosophy as we do.
Fourth, we should always keep an open mind to issues and suggestions and be ready to even change our initial viewpoint about something we may have spoken or thought otherwise of. It is through this that we’d always be ready to learn something every single day whiles applying on the go.
Fifth, the art of listening more than we speak should be learnt. This allows one to be more attentive than a loose mouth in any situation. The same goes for speaking up and doing less of the listening. One should be able to do this interchangeably.
Sixth, be prepared to go the extra mile in life or in anything one does as well as step out of one’s comfort zone to help others in need.
Seventh, we seem to be forgetting our health not bearing in mind that all this is surely going take a toll on us. Eating right, having enough rest and exercising just to mention a few so as to keep in shape is definitely the right way of living.
Eighth, as famously it has been observed by renowned physicist, Albert Einstein. Only the one who devotes himself to a cause with all his strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason one should be willing to give in their all.
Finally I wish everyone all the best in their quest to being game changers and be an ambassador living in the positive influence got from parents, teachers, friends etc.

Its Still In The Pipeline👌🏾

    We're often faced with challenges once we set off  pursuing a goal. Funny  enough, we face same  when there is no goal on the radar. Challenges of varying magnitude but with a common trajectory of derailing you off the tracks. At this point, the uniqueness of every living being is appreciated. Since individually, we'd employ assorted ways of stepping up to the gauntlet we've been drawn into.

    Ever heard of the saying and I quote, "Opportunities come but once in a life time."? Mm.. Its probably one of the most heard catchphrases as one grows. But here is the fun fact ladies and gentlemen, the game never changed unlike its players. Hence the saying "Don't hate the player, hate the game." There is always a choice in life no matter how or what the circumstances may be. Its all up to you to decide. But the million dollar question is -  What do you want?

"If opportunities don't knock at your door, its because your struggle with challenges broke them off; Build a new door!"

     I guess you could render so many answers to that question. But what have you done in your capacity to achieve it? This is due to the fact there are certain things in life we can't have by just thinking about it in the shower or wishing for it to come. I know the most difficult thing to do is act; the rest is merely tenacity. But like I said, its a decision you'd have to make if you still have the answer to the million dollar question I asked. Its hard, I know. Nobody promised it was going to be easy either. All you've got is your guts and wits to make things turn around. This is it people! Sink in it or swim through😌

     Sometimes not getting what you want could be a wonderful stroke of luck but that doesn't mean you shouldn't Redesign📏✏, Rebuild🔧🔨 and Reclaim👊🏾✌🏾. Its what you make outta it that counts. Make a choice today and act upon it.

An Illusion II💭

   

      It appeared that the Queen👸 was far from her King👑 and undoubtedly, the long run of their empire was bound to come to an abrupt end. Lingering on his next move, he couldn’t muse, but conjectured the safety of his Queen👸. She is worth being sacrificed for but that’d mean the kingdom will fall. It was a chess game invented in hell. The kings and pawns irrevocably at odds, unable to eliminate one another without a breakthrough that could destroy them both.

   I was stuck and knowing blatantly that her next move could be a checkmate; it wasn’t hard to tell that she is a maestro in the game of chess😏. “Wishful thinking will take you nowhere AJ, Start acting😌”she uttered softly as she sipped on an exotic orange juice. Had it been on actual battlegrounds, it would have been an “embarrassment” to surrender to a foe and much worse to the ego of a man to a female😖😑. From the way I saw it, a cunning diversion😜 could be my salvation. Except, she was too smart to fall for that.

“Checkmate👌!.. And the crowd goes wild🎆😄😋”, she mimicked the voice of a stadium announcer. Technically she had to wait for me to make my move or throw in the towel; she knew the drill.

  The enemy literally had declared victory; another game lost.  At this point, an ambiguous intensity of locked gazes ensued. It was invasive and vulnerable yet these sentiments were simultaneously felt. A 3 year old could even tell that. The atmosphere could be described with one word, AWKWARD😂!  

                                                                   

                                          *rewinds tape📼*

“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning”

Hold it! The answer to your question is, don’t even think about it😂😂. In my mind’s eye, that’d have been plausible. Nonetheless, I’m either to go with it or snap out of it. After the brief encounter that day and with no name whatsoever, Operation Gather Intel still remains entirely hypothetical.

Where do I start?

What queries do I enter to search for??

There are lots of questions but fewer or no answers.  Wherever you are, I’d definitely find you 😊😊

In The Void 🍃

     If it had a location, then I'd have made it my haven. Due to the fact that it is a realm in which time and reality are rendered meaningless. I could perhaps gain full control of it all because nothing can be quantified there. But nonetheless if the old adage is still as true as the God that I serve, then what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Stepping back and forth like a boxer ready to launch a ferocious punch, I don't see any other way out but a knockout punch to end this torture.

                       
          "Enter into the void, drop everything and become wind 🌾"

  

     In this place, it’s just you and your mind; leading the remaining elements of your body against our thoughts which we're prisoners of.  It'd have been worth it being in that jail if it were the Jail County of Light but it’s the dark side most often. It’s in this place that I found who I am because I forgot who they told me to be. Giving more meaning to Oscar Wilde’s “Circumstances don’t make you who you are but reveal who you are”. Most importantly, you’d know the uncharted benefit of this place after you realize one imperative fact of life. There’d be moments which marks our lives, moments when we realize that nothing will ever be the same no matter how often it is replicated and time is divided into two parts; before this and after this.